"Real" work sucks - a work /rant

/rant on So if you noticed my bio, you know Aspiring Author is a pharmacist in Real Life. But I don't work in a store, I manage the pharmacy of a large hospital. Right now, that work sucks. Sucks like a Hoover outfitted with a Harley motor. We do tons of things to promote patient safety. We do good work. I am proud to be associated with this place. And every once in a while, the government comes in to make sure we are doing it well. That is a good thing, I think. But they don't send robots. They send people. And sometimes people who have nothing better to do than make other people feel shitty about the good things they do. These people have very small penises. Really. Proven fact. I think. They must have, otherwise the testosterone that is vomited out from these people in the form of petty, irrelevant and ignorant animosity would have increased their penis size like it should have. So I feel sorry for these men with tiny cocks, whose only means of satisfaction is to temporarily mind-feck those of us who actually provide good service to our patients. I understand their job, but how shitty must it be to know that every day you go to work, people will hate you for being there. So, tiny dicks and worthless jobs. Yup, sounds just like the guys in Washington. /rant off

Done! (Sort of)

I did it! Aspiring Author finished up the ending of his book! Well, sort of. The good guys prevail (sort of), the bad guys are beaten (sort of) and I can move on to revisions (sort of). I still have the 'wrap up' chapter to complete and a short epilogue, but the story is done.

The final chapter came in at a whopping thirteen plus pages and almost 6,000 words. Remember, if a novel is roughly 100,000 words, that is 6% of the entire book in a single chapter. Most of my chapters run about 2500-3000 at the most.

I will need to go back and edit the ending though. I was so 'in the moment' last night that I wrote almost 4500 words non-stop and never looked back. That is an awesome feeling when you get in that groove, but it also means I have some significant editing to do because the brain thinks faster than even the most nimble typing fingers. I am certain there will be typos, bad grammer, repetitive descriptors and the like, but that's okay.

It's actually quite fun to go back and read those sections because when I am writing them, I am so focused on what happens next, that I have almost instantly forgotten what I wrote. I usually find some of my most favorite lines and descriptions during edits of these type of chapters because I don't let thinking get in the way of my brains creativity. Of course, when the brain is being creative, it can't type for shit, so I still have to take care of the aforementioned typos. :)

So, the book is almost done. The last chapter will tie up some loose ends and the epilogue will fill the reader in on a long forgotten character...stay tuned!

Tragedy and Life

The tragedy in Colorado touched home a little bit. I have friends who know victims of the shooting rampage. As much as I have been looking forward to the final Batman movie, the desire to be first in line on Friday night or Saturday morning had been popped like a balloon after reading the horrific details of what happened Thursday night.

So I went off to work this morning without a thought towards the Batman movie. But I am father to a 12 year old boy. And while kids always want to see a movie, it isn't until they get to be around 12 years old that they begin to really want to see certain movies. In fact, us boys always remember that first big movie we wanted to see...

Together Again

Loving Wife is back home from another week of travels. All is well with the world again.

Love to everyone!

Oh yeah...and the penultimate chapter has begun...

Oh what a lovely feeling!

With last night's breakthrough, I was able to add another 3000 words and finish Chapter 40 tonight. And Oh. My. God. Becky.  It was damn fun to write that chapter.

I just wrapped up what happens to the primary bad guy and even he said "Oh, yes, Aspiring Author, that was well done."

What a giddy feeling. I should do this more often. I can't wait for Loving Wife to get home and tell me if it is as satisfying to her as a reader as it was to me as a writer.

To continue the good news, in the middle of a craptastic day at work, an entirely new story popped into my head. I have it written down and tucked away. Aftere getting you all boned up on Urban Fantasy, I may have to start throwing some Steampunk your way!

But first...the final two chapters of this one. And an epilogue. I am not sure I will be able to sleep!

Blocking Breakthrough!

So I have been thinking, ruminating, pondering, mulling, musing and meditating over how to block the ending to my book. Blocking is a stage term that means to set the actors and scene in a play to facilitate the performance. In book form, it basically boils down to how to set up and carry through a scene.

On a stage, you can have actors doing different things at the same time because the medium of a play is both aural and visual. In a book, its a little more difficult in that you have to somehow convey the idea that multiple things are happening in the linear progression of chapters.

So while an earlier post mentioned it was much easier to write the ending of the book, I have decided that I must amend that particular commentary to say that it is much easier to visualize the end of the book as opposed to write it. In other words, I know what happens, but with so many things happening at once, in what order do they happen? Or, more importantly, in what order do I tell you, the reader, what is happening?

2700 words

I got 2700 hundred words in today. A good chunk of writing for being sick with a head cold and worried about work. It was refreshing to sit down and write again for pleasure. But it's not even 7pm and I am exhausted. I didn't sleep last night as I went through a box of tissues. Sometimes, I would rather just puke my guts out once and get it over with rather than have a cold for two days where your nose literally drips if you're not careful.

So I am going to all 2700 words a minor miracle. Let's hope I don't have to throw them all out when I read them without a ton of Benadryl on board.

Urban Fantasy Pool. Please Jump In!

So you have read my blog (you have read the rest of my blog, right? Right? Helllooo?)

Ahem...back to the subject. If you have read the rest of my blog, you know that my book is in a genre known as Urban Fantasy. Ever seen True Blood on HBO? That's Urban Fantasy with hot vampires and geeky nerboy fancrush bisexual hotties. Remeber Carnivale (also on HBO)? Urban Fantasy with weird circus people. How about something a little more accessible. Say...The Walking Dead on basic cable? Mostly Urban Fantasy with zombies! yay!*

So you have lots of Urban Fantasy around you and you didn't know it! So, how do you find it to read it? Cuz there is really good stuff out there. That is what this post is about! Also a few tidbits about my favorite authors in this genre...read on!

Project Ugh to Project Yay!

In my two months of medical leave, I missed quite a lot. Not missed in the "I wish I was there" kind of way, but in the "where the hell is AA and why the heck did he not finish his part" kind.

In other words, there was stuff I was supposed to be doing that I couldn't that I now have to catch up on, even though I have no flippin clue what I am supposed to be doing.

Word Count

I tallied up a rough word count of my book today and it's looking like I will finish up the first draft with roughly100-105 thousand words. Considering I have quite a bit of revision to do of the first half of the book, I expect that will come down some, so I am very happy I am in the right range.

Your average 300 page book has roughly 75-80,000 words. Anything over 110,000 starts to veer into big, Tolkienesque territory and is really hard to get published as a first time author. The sweet spot is between 80 and 100k. Too short, and your novel may not have enough meat. Too long, and it not only risks dragging on, but it costs more to produce.

"Mexican" Food Rant

/rant on

Trying a new Mexican food place in SoCal is supposed to be a cool little adventure into the spicy side of life for us gringos, but I knew we were in trouble as soon as we walked into tonight's "Mexican" food place.

First of all, THIS is a jalapeno. It is a small pepper with a bunch of little seeds in it. It's hot. It's used in Mexican food. Obviously, the shit you served us tonight was not Mexican food, because it would have snivled like a five year old boy if you had farted jalapeno at it from the next room.

Kings and Family

It struck me today on the way home, that yes, its true, the Kings -- my Kings! -- won the Stanley Cup this year. This still boggles Aspiring Author's concussion rattled mind*. This is good in the 'now-I-can-die-happy' sort of way. So as I am zoning out on the local freeway thinking about LA Hockey goodness, I also was thinking of who I was watching those games with.

Happy Fourth

Happy Fourth of July to all of my two and half readers!

Rent Rant

/rant on

Sometimes renting is great. When the air conditioning springs a leak, and it costs $300 to fix it, you call the warranty people and they take care of it. That's awesome.

Sometimes renting sucks pygmy marmoset balls. Sure, their tiny and they get stuck in your teeth, but that's the point. It not only sucks, it is annoying as feck.

Work Stuff

Being a Manager of People is sometimes the most rewarding thing in the world. You can turn minions into leaders. You can provide a place where people can do their best work in the best way possible. You can make a positive impact on those who work for you. You can be ultra-cool boss dude where everyone loves you.

Unless  you have my job.

*Sigh*

Wrapping it up

In a previous post, I mentioned that writing the ending is easier than much of the middle is the book. Considering I have written four and a half chapters in the past two weeks (roughly 15,000 words) that is true.

What I didn't realize is how freakin' exhausting it would be! This came as a surprise as I thought I would cruise through the ending because all those story lines were wrapping up and coming together, all I had to do was finish typing.

Then the damn characters got in the way.